What stops you from making connections with native speakers?
- Listen to learn about communication skills you’ll need to learn outside the classroom.
- First, try listening without reading the transcript. After that, listen again to check for any words you might’ve missed.
- You’ll also find a quiz at the end!
Transcript:
In recent months, I’ve been thinking a lot about fluency. What is fluency? Can it be defined by exams or certifications? Or is it best measured through real life experiences, like acing a job interview in your target language or being able to have an enjoyable conversation with a native speaker? Or is fluency somewhere between the two? Let’s talk about it.
Why do we struggle to make connections in a foreign language?
Whenever I have a new student, my first priority is finding out what their goals are. I’ll usually ask them about their history of learning English, specific difficulties they may be having, and most importantly—what is motivating them to have lessons with me. Over the past few months, I’ve been noticing a pattern in my students’ answers. Their motivations weren’t to prepare for a job interview or to learn how to become a better writer…but rather, how to make friends. “I’ve been working in the US for years, but I don’t have anyone to practice my English with outside of the office”. “I’ve been told by an English colleague that I need to work on my fluency”. “I don’t know how to talk to Americans when we aren’t talking about work.” These are the types of statements I often hear from students. After reflecting on this, I began to question myself. How could a student have the vocabulary, the understanding of grammar, live in an English-speaking country and not be able to make social connections?
Are you able to start conversations easily?
True Fluency
The conclusion that I came to is that there are two types of “fluencies”. I’ll call the first— true fluency. “True fluency”, to me, is the result of many years of intensive study of a language. The student has worked their way up through the many levels of exams and proven, on paper at least, that they can confidently and effectively communicate in the language. Perhaps they work in a specialized field and communicate about complex concepts and ideas with English-speaking colleagues daily. However, when it comes to forming social connections with native speakers…they fall short. There is a barrier that prevents them from building connections even though they have the language capabilities. As a teacher, this shows up as the student who appears to be quite …stiff. Perhaps a question is asked, and the reply is concise to the point of being jarring. Social cues of eye contact, exchanging pleasantries, or matching the tone or rhythm of the conversation are absent. The student’s language may be impeccable—free of any errors at all—yet to the native speaker they can seem a bit cold, even robotic.
Does having a C2 certification always mean that you can communicate well with others?
Perceived Fluency
Now, on the other hand, we have what I’d call “perceived fluency”. I often come across students who would —without a doubt— struggle to make it to C level exams. Their vocabulary may be basic, and they recycle the same phrases time and again. They may make pronunciation mistakes left and right. If you forced them to write an essay, you know it would need a lot of work. And yet… they have no problem communicating with native speakers. They manage to be understood and any mistakes they make are easily ignored—or even—considered to be quite charming.What this student has mastered is the ability to socialize in the English-speaking world. They know how to start up a conversation with small talk. They can adjust their tone and way of speaking to the mood of their partner. They know how to be polite and warm without seeming rehearsed or inauthentic. They can show their personality and aren’t afraid to contribute to the conversation. The native-speaker doesn’t feel as though they must exhaust all their energy leading him through the conversation, but rather that it is 50-50, a perfect back and forth.
There is more to good communication than just grammar and vocabulary.
The Importance of Cultural Awareness
So, naturally, the next question that came to mind was: as an English teacher, is this something that can be taught? Well…the answer … I’m still not sure. What I do know is that after teaching a few hundred students from around the world, you quickly learn how to deal with all types of people, from many different cultures. You start to recognize how people from different countries communicate. What is considered rude, how introverted or extroverted they are, and even what topics they consider to be appropriate. As a teacher, you kind of become an actor. Your career depends on your ability to quickly make people feel comfortable enough with you to want to be your student. This, I believe, is the key… It isn’t about being fake. Nor is it about changing your personality. It is simply about knowing the culture you are in and being able to bring out the parts of your personality that will allow you to best communicate within that group.
USA is a “low-context culture” that prefers a professional, direct, and efficient communication style.
For instance, if I’m travelling in Greece and have to speak to Greek speakers, I have a pretty good understanding of what to expect. My laid back, super cool, Californian personality may be perceived as disinterest or apathy in a culture that has no problem putting their passion on display. I don’t mistake any boisterous behavior as rude, and I welcome a playful insult now and then. Although there isn’t enough ouzo in the world to get me dancing on top of a table, I’ll force myself to loosen up just a bit. I know the language well enough to read between the lines and to know if a conversation is going well or if it’s dead end. This is the kind of social and cultural fluency that leads to connection. This is what goes beyond textbooks and a 60-minute lesson. This is the kind of learning that has to happen outside of the classroom.
So to bring today’s episode to an end, I’ll leave you with some questions.
- When you speak to native English speakers, what can you observe?
- How do they strike up conversation?
- How do they gracefully avoid an uncomfortable topic or exit the conversation altogether?
- When do you know if an English speaker is comfortable with you?
- What changes in their language, tone, and gestures?
- How do native speakers take-turns speaking, and at what times do they interrupt each other?
- Does the conversation seem to be an even-handed exchange, or does one person lead while the other follows?
Depending on your own culture and social expectations, you may find that English-speaking people are a complete contradiction to the behaviors of your own country. Or you may find the difference to be rather insignificant. Whatever the case, I hope today’s episode has inspired you to think outside of your textbook and have a look inside the mind of an English-speaker. Until next time, take care.
